A New Direction...

For years, this blog was my little corner of the internet where I wrote about men, women, and the delightful chaos that happens when the two try to coexist. And I loved it. But somewhere between writing my new book, What If? Real Choices in Unreal Moments, and living my own unreal moments, I realized this blog needed a glow-up. Not a "new logo, same content" glow-up. A real one.

So, here's the plan. Every week, we're going to take one "What If", a real choice, a ridiculous moment, a decision I probably should not have made at 2 a.m. and pull it apart together. Sometimes it'll be funny. Sometimes it'll sting a little, in that way truth tends to do. And sometimes it will make you cry. Always, it'll be honest, because I did not write an entire book about the moments that make us human just to come here and pretend I have it figured out. I do not have it figured out. 

Here's what I've learned writing this book: the "unreal moments" aren't always the dramatic ones you'd expect. Sometimes it’s at 11:47 pm when you're staring at a text you sent and can’t take back. Those are the moments that actually run our lives.

Which brings me to what "What If" the blog is really about: what happens in the space between the choice and the consequence. That tiny, terrifying, often hilarious gap where you're standing there thinking, "well, I've said it or done it now," and bracing for impact. I want to live in that gap with you every week. Partly because it's where the best stories are. Mostly because misery loves company, and I would like some company.

Some weeks we'll talk about the choices we make in relationships, the ones between men and women that this blog has always loved dissecting, because let's be honest, that material writes itself. Other weeks we'll get into the bigger stuff: the identity, the invisibility, the moments women in particular are taught to shrink through instead of stand in. I wrote a whole book about being an invisible woman, so trust me, I have range here.

I'm not asking you to have all your "what ifs" resolved before you show up here. I certainly don't. Half the reason I wrote this book is that I'm still sorting through my own unreal moments in real time, occasionally while eavesdropping on strangers at Target for material. What I am asking is that you bring your own moments with you, the choices you made, the ones you didn't, the ones you're still standing in the parking lot deciding on. This blog works best as a conversation, not a lecture, and I promise I'm significantly more interesting when I'm not talking to myself.

So, consider this the official launch of the new weekly ritual: one real choice, one unreal moment, dissected with humor, honesty, and occasionally tears. If you've pre-ordered What If? Real Choices in Unreal Moments, you already know the tone we're working with. If you haven't yet, don't worry, you're about to get a very good preview, one week at a time. See you next week, same overthinking, new format.