Men Only Rooms

In the long, slow march toward gender equality, we’ve conquered voting rights, cracked a few glass ceilings, and even mastered walking into a boardroom in heels without breaking an ankle. Yet somehow, in the corner of certain private clubs, a mysterious relic remains untouched: the men-only room. No, we’re not talking about gender specific bathrooms. Although it’s 2025, there are still plush, leather-filled lounges where women can’t sit—not because we’re not qualified, but because we might ruin the vibe. The continued existence of these rooms in influential social environments sends a clear message that access and influence aren’t equally shared.

These “gentlemen’s sanctuaries” were born in an era when women couldn’t vote, own property, or even open a credit card without a man’s blessing. Back then, the men-only rooms were opulent lounges where cigars were lit, secrets were shared, decisions were made and leadership pipelines were reinforced. Fast forward to now, and some clubs still cling to these spaces. Only now, it’s framed as “tradition,” not exclusion.

Defenders of these rooms will tell you it’s just a harmless hangout spot. A “bonding space,” they say. Because, apparently, male bonding only works when women are definitively not invited.What is it about this bond that makes it so secretive-so off-limits to women?

Many of these clubs have technically opened membership to women. But don’t be fooled by the welcome email. If you’re a woman in one of these institutions and you can’t access the rooms where real influence flows, you’re not a full member. Some clubs don’t even try to hide that fact by using the term “associate member’ for women. You’re a guest who pays dues. It’s like being invited to a wedding but only allowed to stand in the coat check room.

These rooms aren’t casual hangouts; they’re cultural leftovers from a time when excluding women wasn’t just normal—it was expected. Keeping them around isn’t nostalgia. It’s an effective form of gatekeeping and for women in business, advocacy or leadership they perpetuate a power imbalance in which women are denied access to opportunity and influence. 

Now, some folks might argue that women have their own spaces too. And it’s true—many women’s organizations have created empowering environments where women can strategize, support, and yes, even vent. But the difference is intent. Women’s spaces exist to counter systemic exclusion, not to preserve it. And, many of these organizations welcome men into their ranks, although it appears that not many men take advantage of this inclusion.

Younger generations—men included—are increasingly side-eyeing these dusty old rules. They ask whether exclusivity based on gender aligns with their values, and the answer is usually-NO.

At the end of the day, this isn’t about plush chairs or antique scotch decanters—it’s about access. And until all members can walk into every room, sit at every table, and be part of every conversation, equality will always have a “members only” sign slapped across it.