Men, Women and the Art of Suffering

Let’s face it—when it comes to handling pain, men and women might as well be living in

different universes. It’s often said that if men had to go through childbirth, the survival of

the human race would be endangered.

But at this point, as men can’t give birth, let’s talk about some typical circumstances that

illustrate the differences in the way that men and women handle pain. How about the

“man flu” phenomenon—you know, the mysterious illness that turns a common cold into

a near-death experience? A man with a sniffle becomes a philosopher, questioning the

meaning of life while clutching a tissue like it’s his last breath. His voice gets weaker, his

movements slower, and suddenly, he’s requesting a full Netflix binge session and a

lifetime supply of soup. Meanwhile, a woman with the same cold? She’s running

errands, making dinner, and reminding everyone that no, she is not “fine”—she’s just

too busy to collapse dramatically.

Then there’s the stubbed-toe paradox. When a woman slams her foot into the coffee

table, she grits her teeth, mutters something under her breath, and moves on with her

day. Maybe there’s a deep sigh involved, maybe a whispered curse. When a man stubs

his toe? The world stops. He lets out a sound so guttural you’d think he just stepped on

a medieval bear trap. He hops, he holds, he winces.

Another glaring difference in the male and female perception of pain is revealed when

we consider childbirth vs. a kidney stone. Women endure hours of excruciating labor,

scream, cry, and then—somehow—immediately forget the pain enough to do it again.

Meanwhile, a man who passes a kidney stone will retell the story for years, describing it

with the emotional depth of a war survivor. “I saw the light,” he’ll say. “I wouldn’t wish

this on my worst enemy.” Meanwhile, his wife, who has literally pushed out a human, is

rolling her eyes in the background.

You’d think that because of men’s sensitivity to pain, they’d run to the doctor at the first

sign of a problem. Thinking this would be a mistake. Men avoid doctors like vampires

avoid garlic. They could have a broken leg, and they’ll still say, “Eh, let’s give it a few

days and see if it heals itself.” But the moment they do go? They expect the doctor to be

shocked by their resilience, nod solemnly, and say, “Sir, I don’t know how you’ve

survived this long.” On the other hand, women go regularly to the doctor, ask questions, and religiously follow medical advice.

In the end, both men and women experience pain—it’s just how they tell the story that

differs.