Still Sexy At Sixty +

Dating after Sixty is a world apart from dating as a Twenty Year old.  Although you might still be looking for your Prince Charming you now realize that he may not arrive riding on a white horse. Instead, you may discover him as you’re sitting at your computer in your ratty pajamas while scrolling for love on a dating app.

But don’t be surprised if your online connection in real life turns out to be a little different than the person depicted on the dating site. Perhaps his photo conveys what he looked like thirty years ago, but in no way resembles the vastly overweight, balding man you see eagerly waiting for you in the restaurant. But then again, those little touch ups you did to your online photo convey the image of a woman whose in the flesh version looks substantively different than her online image.  If you’re being honest with yourself, you’d admit that you’re not quite the same person that you were in your twenties. But that’s not a bad thing and it doesn’t mean that you are not as desirable as you once were, but perhaps your desirable traits have changed a bit. You’ve experienced things that have changed your perspective and given you a confidence that you didn’t have when you were younger.

In the past, the potential partner you noticed in the singles bar might be harboring a nasty personality, but appearance wise it was what you saw was what you got. So, if attraction after sixty focuses on more than physical appearance, what does dating look like when there might be some wrinkles and sagging involved?

You may still feel the same emotions that Baby did when she saw Johnny dancing in Dirty Dancing but you’re a little more cautious about taking that leap into his arms. The stars in your eyes aren’t so dense as to obscure the motivation behind your partner’s interest in you. Is he looking for love or someone to care for him physically or financially as he ages? Long smoldering kisses on the beach are fantastic but will there be issues when you get to the main act in the bedroom later that night?

You finally know what you want in life and expect your partner to complement those needs. Your rose tinted glasses have come off and shared interests and kindness are now top priorities in your  relationships. You’d better call it off if your idea of a perfect weekend is attending the legitimate theater and dining at a Michelin star restaurant, and your partner is content with ordering takeout and watching old movies all day.

For the sixty plus person entering the dating pool, they should remember that as they approach retirement age, many of the traits that in the past once sparked attraction, like a high-powered career, a sculpted body, or a striking figure, may have faded or shifted. The relationship may be in trouble if its underlying cornerstone were these characteristics.

Ultimately, age may change what we see in the mirror, but it doesn’t change the heart. We still crave the spark, the sweet rush of falling in love. The magic never gets old, but now we understand the illusion behind some of it.

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