The Apron, the Briefcase and the Pursuit of happiness

Are stay-at-home moms happier than working moms or vice versa? And is there actually such a thing. Unless stay at home moms spend their days stretched out on a chaise lounge eating bon bons, the reality is that they are working 24/7. Food must be bought and prepared, houses must be cleaned, children must be taken care of- etc., etc. The more accurate question would be whether stay at home moms are happier than working out of the home moms. Taking this a step further, does anyone really think that just because a woman works out of her home several hours a day that she isn’t expected to still take care of the children and home. After all, tradition has designated her as the primary caregiver.  

Studies have indicated that much of a woman’s happiness quotient regarding employment could be attributed to whether a woman works out of the home because of financial necessity or personal desire. Or in other words, does a woman’s happiness depend on whether she’s the architect of her own future? A 2019 study published in the National Library of Medicine found that people report greater happiness when their job aligns with their sense of their life purpose. Of course, defining that purpose is a deeply personal matter.

Happiness is not a static state of being. As the saying goes, “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” Stay-at-home moms may imagine the quiet bliss of an adult lunch break, complete with scintillating conversation. Conversations with the cashier at the supermarket doesn’t manage to fill this void. Working moms might daydream about a morning where “casual Friday” means leggings and a ponytail instead of PowerPoint slides and budget reports.

Obviously, it’s easier to bond with your child if you are intimately involved in all their activities.  It’s undeniable that working moms enjoy professional achievements but also get the occasional guilt trip when they miss the mid-morning school trip to the pumpkin farm.

The limited options for women in the workplace existing in the 1960s was successfully portrayed in the TV show “Mad Men” in which men did the important jobs, all the while knocking back a scotch or two in the office. It was assumed that women were content to be the happy homemaker, and maybe some of them were. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that as of 2024, 74.0% of mothers with children were participating in the labor force. Today, many women have claimed seats in the C-suite.

 A mom who loves her job and finds personal fulfillment in it, might radiate happiness, while another mom might glow just as brightly orchestrating an epic blanket fort at home. Happiness, as it turns out, isn’t tied to a paycheck or a juice box, it’s tied to whether your needs are met and you, only you, decide to work in, or out of the home.

So, are stay-at-home moms happier? Sometimes. Are working moms happier? Also, sometimes. What is the determining factor? In one simple word-CHOICE!